He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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