You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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