We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
