If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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