I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You did what with his pubic hair?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
