in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
