also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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