Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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