I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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