I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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