I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Farmville is her only friend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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