I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
