No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
