NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
