Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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