i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
