she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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