At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
