there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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