Buhtt sex?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
