I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
