McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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