return my video game
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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