who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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