I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
