I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What a dumb baby whore.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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