And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
