Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
