that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
