there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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