I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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