How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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