I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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