I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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