Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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