You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
