also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
