addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
