i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
