dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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