It's Friday. Sex?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
