I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
