I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize