maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
