So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize