You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
