I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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