I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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