Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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