Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
