She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
