So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize