We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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