I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
