I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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