I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
sex in a hospital.. check
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
