she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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